Figuring out stuckness

Dear Team Joy,

Hi, I’ve missed you. Thank you for your patience and grace as I figure out what I want and need this space to be. When I took a break from writing in December I didn’t intend for the break to be 3 months. But thats what I needed. Going forward, you can expect these notes to be shorter than in the past, but with no less heart. 💜

I am going to experiment with publishing weekly on Fridays instead of Sundays, to shift this newsletter to align with my workweek. Hopefully it can be a light and a moment of reflection at the end of yours. ✨

For those of you who are new here, a quick introduction about me: I founded Team Joy Coaching a year ago because I believe joy is a guiding force that leads us toward our true selves, and pursuing our joy is easier when we have a supportive team around us. I want to be part of your team.

As a Life and Leadership Coach I use this newsletter to share my reflections on my own pursuit of living an authentic, powerful, and expressed life. If you want to chat coaching I am here. Without further ado…

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Getting stuck

I crawled toward the end of last year with a dreadful knowing that I would need to make changes in my life in 2023. The status quo was untenable. Yet I desperately did not feel up for navigating change. I felt raw, fragile, exhausted, fat on steroids, and thin on spiritual strength.

So instead of walking forward into the abyss, I decided to hide. I slipped away into myself, cancelling plans and pressing play on the next episode of The Crown. Even after three hours of watching, when my eyes were dry from staring at the screen, and a small whimper within me said, “Shouldn’t we go do something else?” I pushed down my inner voice and continued with my intoxication of being engaged by Netflix, which required no effort or vulnerability on my part.

A change of scenery slowly began to break my spell. I took a train from D.C. to New York for the holidays and I accidentally found myself flirting with the guy next to me. He got on the train in Philly, and it was the kind of flirting that can only happen when you know the probability of seeing each other again is miniscule. We discussed our expectations of partnership, our approaches to money. The chances of me coming to Philly anytime soon? The chances are low. 😂

But the energy exchange created a small wedge of light between the walls I had furiously constructed to close off my inner world. The encounter reminded me of the vitality that can come from being open to life. The feeling of aliveness was so much more satisfying than the dull sense of safety and entertainment that Neftlix and social media provide.

After a season of hiding and boredom, I slowly turned off the distractions and began to re-engage with myself. I took myself back to Yoga, I let myself be taken care of by my Mom for a few days, and I recommitted to my journaling practice. I slowly felt ready to confront the simmering question I could only hear when things got quiet: What was I hiding from?

One of the hardest parts of leading an authentic life, is knowing something that you don’t feel ready to know.

I find moments like these to be one of the hardest parts of staying true to myself. To let myself know something, even when I am not ready to act on it. To make my life feel tenable again, my inner knowing was leading me to let go of the status quo in multiple areas of my life. But the costs felt insurmountable. I didn’t want to give up belonging, material wealth, the fantasies of what could be, or even the convenience of sticking with a known thing. Staying represented safety to me.

Over time, I realized I was clinging to something that represented safety. But staying, when my inner knowing was telling me to leave, was like living inside a mirage of safety. In reality, I felt trapped. I had outsourced my sense of safety to an external condition subject to change. Through my own work with my coach, I have come to realize that safety cannot be outsourced, it comes from within.

Real safety and peace comes from a commitment to honoring myself. It can never come from clinging.

I always want to cling to the old while grasping for the new. Trying to limit the sense of loss with a quick replacement. Limiting the uncertainty and vulnerability by not saying goodbye until a “better” future is known. But the truth is there’s no way to skip the unfolding. Letting go and listening to your intuition, requires believing your inner compass is always on your team, and is leading you to what’s meant for you. Its not your job to know how it will unfold, it’s your job to listen and trust.

So I did. I let go. I could only remain stuck for so long. The letting go is the cracking open, letting both the light and the grief in. It broke my heart in some ways, and opened me up to more freedom and expansiveness in others.

Honoring ourselves is the path out of stuck-ness and toward our vitality. It’s scary and unknown, but it’s also truly living.

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To anyone on Team Joy called to invite more of their intuition into their life, reach out by text, email me at isabel@teamjoycoaching.com, or set up time with me to talk. As always if this post resonated with you, I would love to hear from you.

Part of my renewed commitment to myself over the last 3 months, is recommitting to to building my dream coaching practice that helps others live authentic, powerful, and expressive lives. If you sense I can be supportive to you as a coach, or you just want to hear more about what I am building, please do not hesitate to reach out!

Sending love on this Friday,

Isabel